Some people get things off their chest when they're under the influence, but a Michigan man aimed a little lower – ripping off a large chunk of his johnson while high on magic mushrooms.
Cops responded to a burglar alarm at a local middle school and found the man, whose name was not released, kneeling on the ground, naked and covered in blood. He told them that he'd taken some psychedelic mushrooms earlier that day and couldn't recall what had happened after.
An officer who responded to the scene said, "He really wasn’t saying much at all – a lot of yelling and screaming. He wasn’t making sense. They couldn’t really communicate with him in terms of constructive conversation.”