The most non-fun roommate Ever is James Denham Watson, a 31-year-old living in Virginia who apparently got completely wasted last Saturday night, passed out on the couch, and woke up to find penises drawn on his face!
Except Watson wasn't laughing. He wasn't quietly plotting a subsequent retaliatory game of Hide the Dookie. He didn't hazily acknowledge Owww, my head, I should probably get off the couch and move to my bed like a grown man and then later rethink this whole weekend warrior approach to "fun" because I now have PENIS ALL OVER MY FACE.
Instead, he did this:
Police say that Watson, suspecting his roommate, ran upstairs to where the roommate was sleeping and jumped on top of him, repeatedly punching him in the face. The commotion awakened a third roommate, who managed to separate the two.
The victim reportedly waited about an hour and a half to call the police while deciding whether or not to press charges. He did end up calling for help and police charged Watson with malicious wounding. The injured man's eye was swollen shut and bleeding, so the third roommate drove him to the hospital for treatment, according to police.